To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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