i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
