just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
