your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
