I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
