You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
