I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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