i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
