bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
