U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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