I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
