new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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