i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
