You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
