Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
