we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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