i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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