youre lurking in front of me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
