It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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