Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
