I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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