I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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