So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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