you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
