She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
