have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
