Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
