Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
