Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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