the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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