You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
