I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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