i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
is it fun? or sober?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
