he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
