They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
