do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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