hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
