Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
