you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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