Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
