Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Bring me that man meat
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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