youre lurking in front of me
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
