he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
