is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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