don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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