I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
