My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
