Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
smell my finger.
vagina is talking i cant
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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