Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
