what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
