know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
